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2006-12-29 - 8:48 p.m. This was a hard, hard Christmas. But I think the bad stuff is over with now. I spent Christmas worried about the (very real) possibility that my van would be written off because of the missing seats. My mind endlessly surfed best-case scenarios and worst-case scenarios and what I would do/should do/could do in each. New cars, used cars, public transportation, walking, types of cars, financing/lack of financing, putting off school for a year to buy a car, etc., etc. ad infinitum. But everything is going to be fine. My sweet appraiser man found used seats for me and barring any major problems discovered during the mechanical inspection my van will be restored to me in something near the condition it was in when it was so rudely wrenched from my possession. I cannot come close to describing the relief I feel. I didn't cry very much through all this, but I think I could cry for a long time now from utter relief. I kept telling myself that on a scale of bad things happening that this was really only about a 2 out of 10. That didn't help a lot, but maybe it helped a bit. No one was dead, no one was dying, no one was crippled or paralysed or in the hospital, no one's home had burnt to the ground, no one's heart had even been broken, but I think, mostly, I found it so hard because it was like a monkey wrench was being thrown into all my carefully laid plans. Well, that and the fact that I needed a holiday because I was so damn tired. This hasn't been a restful holiday but I might do a lot, a lot, of sleeping over the next three days. But other than that Christmas was lovely. The kids were adorable; everything was pretty; much good food was had; people seemed to like the presents I gave; I received many pretty things. And my niece (and my sister who gave her financial backing) gave me a present which came about the closest a present could come to replicating a childhood moment of Christmas delight in an adult life. In fact, it might have been better because the present was so desired and yet so unexpected. She gave me one of these. It is beee-yooo-ti-ful. And when I see you I will take your picture with it. I'm so excited to really learn how to use it. It's not that I entirely hate my point and shoot - I don't want to be entirely disloyal to it, because I've had some extremely good pitures out of it - but I've so often been so frustrated with its limitations. I'm so ready for a really good camera.
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