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2007-02-05 - 9:26 p.m. I'll tell you a secret. Because it's always a good idea to tell secrets to the internets. I'm kind of liking Polish. I mean, I suck at it, don't get me wrong, but my brain is enjoying trying to work things out. I'm a bit like Helen Keller in the Miracle Worker right before she figures out that W-A-T-E-R means that cold wet stuff you drink. My brain feels perpetually on the edge of understanding - not quite understanding, but with the definite potential of understanding soon. And I have these teeny tiny victories like seeing a new word and automatically pronouncing the 'j' as a 'y'. That sounds easy, but it's not. Stray Polish words and phrases wander across my mind and I try to hold onto them long enough to figure out what they refer to. When I go to study I have to give myself enough time to sink down into it. If I just stay on the surface, I'm too impatient, but when I let myself get into it, I really enjoy it. It feels refreshing and invigorating - like a glass of cold water on a hot day. And I think this is something that I am slowly learning about myself - to let myself have that time to sink into a project. This is the very thing I either deny myself or think isn't important or (maybe) think is too important. I don't do things because I don't have an uninterrupted period of time - but the time I really need isn't the length of time, it is that sinking down time. That time feels like it's long, but it's not. What it is is deep and once I'm in it, I don't want to resurface. I'm going to go see if I can sink into my writing now. Maybe the more I practice the better I'll get at it? Except for some brief bouts of sleepy/tiredness I felt normal today for the first time in weeks.
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