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2007-03-28 - 8:00 p.m. It must be spring. A trucker was waving madly at me today as I was walking home. I judge spring by male hormore levels. The river was all blue and white and awfully pretty today. The ice free channel widens day by day. Though you can tell break-up hasn't happened yet up stream because there aren't large chunks of ice floating past yet. I've decided that it is good to have a soul-numbing office job at least once in your life to give you some perspective. If nothing else this job has shown me pretty clearly some things I want to avoid in my work life. I've known for a while that I didn't want to be an administrative assistant. Whenever I get stuck doing administrative stuff I want to shoot myself. A good admin assistant can make an office be a much, much better place to work, but you have to have someone who not only knows what they're doing, but really cares about taking care of the office - that's not me. The other thing I know now that I probably knew before but on a different level is that I don't want to work with numbers. I just don't care about making numbers match up with each other. It just seems so pointless. Here's my big project wrapping up. It was interesting. I loved the project management and coordination. The things that other people hate, I loved. But now all that work, all that organization has been distilled down into the dullest report full of stupid meaningless numbers. (Well, I'm sure they mean something to someone.) I was left with it today to do the final number checking and edits. Anyone who leaves me in charge of anything to do with math has rocks in their heads. I was just about in tears because I couldn't make head or tail of it. And what's more I didn't want to. I didn't care. But I did it. What I notice about my workplace is the lack of creativity. One example: There are only two of us in the whole office that have decorated our spaces. Every other office is barren and blank. My boss - who talks about loving art - has an office that looks like someone should move into it soon - it is completely empty and without personality. And, in general, most of my co-workers just don't seem to have much interest in creative or intellectual pursuits. I think I took my creativity for granted until I was in such an arid environment. Sometimes it feels like the blood is being sucked right out of me by the dryness.
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